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10 signs you are in a toxic relationship

  1. Drama queen: They attract drama and thrive off it as a source of entertainment. They will bitch to you about other friends and misinterpret situations.

  2. Selfish: Their worries are the only worries that matter. Whenever you meet up, it seems to be about their life, and you find it difficult to talk about your worries, because apparently, theirs are so much worse than yours.

  3. Inappropriate behaviour: They openly flirt with your partner and tell you, ‘oh you don’t mind because you’re my bestie.’

  4. Verbal abuse: They will say ‘I’m only joking’ or ‘no offense’ when they insult you, convincing you they’re just being honest. Their approach comes across nasty and if you doubt that, observe peoples reactions who hear your conversation when your out.

  5. Jealousy: They don’t like you having any other close friends, and will look to spread rumours about them, to convince you, they’re the toxic ones.

  6. Cancelling: They’re constantly letting you down and cancelling plans. It will be excuse after excuse and they will promise to meet up with you, but it doesn’t materialise.

  7. Manipulating: If you call them out on something, they will make you feel guilty and convince you, that it was your fault. They will also like to control what you do together.

  8. Trust: They will tell other friends your secrets, so you find your always saying, ‘please don’t tell anyone’. There will be an indication of this, if they tell you secrets of your other friends.

  9. Crying: Your friend makes you cry more than laugh, you may dread meeting up with them and want to see them less.

  10. Drained: You feel emotionally drained whenever you have seen this friend. You find you have to clear your schedule to recharge and may limit the time you spend with them.

A lot of these signs are universal with relationships with family members and partners. The sad thing is, most of the time, these people don’t realise they’re toxic and until they do, they won't change. Its best to work at your friendships, but if it gets to a point that you’re recognising a lot of the signs above, you may need to rethink your friendship. I’ve found that if you have more negative things to say about your friend than positive, something wrong. I’ve always given friendships plenty of time to mend, and I’ve been open about how their behaviour had made me feel. Remember, we can’t be friends with everyone, and sometimes you need to let a friend go, to protect yourself, it’s not to say you can’t be friends in the future.  

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