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Day 23 ‘feeling’

Could I be an empath?

I didn’t know what an empath was until I saw a Facebook quiz on my feed, and after doing one, I realised it made a lot of sense. I researched online and realised some of the traits made sense; although, I wonder if I’m just empathetic and my caring nature makes me emphasize with others. I will look into three categories, self-discovery, relationships and protection. All impact how an empath functions and how it affects their daily life.

People who are empathetic care about someone else’s feelings, but empath people take those feelings a step further. They ‘take on the person’s feelings’, absorb what they are going through as if it is happening to themselves, which can cause physical distress. I’ve been used because of my weakness to care too much and have had a lot of toxic friendships with girls. It never occurred to me that I was ‘absorbing other people’s emotions’, and it was draining me. The way I’m wired means I’m more sensitive to emotions, so someone who has a lot going on in their life and less emphatic will impact me more. I’ve learnt to toughen up and end toxic friendships, because they affected my health; there only so much I could do as a friend to selfish people. Being an empath means it’s difficult for me to let go, and the only way I cope, is shutting people out of my life, so I don’t have to deal with them. It doesn’t always work, because if you fall out with your neighbour, you can’t escape.

My relationship with men has been a roller-coaster and being an empath has impacted them. According to psychology today empaths that ‘don’t have time to decompress in their own space’ will suffer and not flourish. I couldn’t understand why I lost myself and why my life became about my partner. It wasn’t until I met my husband, did I realise I could enjoy my time alone (his job takes him away), and be in a relationship where I didn’t lose myself. I learnt I needed someone just as caring as me, so if I absorbed their emotions it wouldn’t poison me; I found having space is good for my mind. My current relationship takes control of seeing my husband out of my hands, forcing me to spend time alone, which I’m learning to enjoy.

Researching about being an empath has made me realise I am one and I’m not just empathetic; I absorb other people’s feelings, which can make me vulnerable. Learning about different types of toxic people from narcissists to drama queens has made me realise they make me vulnerable. I need to concentrate on those who nurture me, and ‘set limits with those who drain’ me. Discovering I’m an empath means I will be more aware of people’s emotions affecting me, but also allows me to build long-lasting friendships. I need to learn to protect myself more and not absorb people’s emotions to the point it drains me.

I am challenging myself to write a 500-word post a day for 30 days. I will choose a random word from the dictionary and to make this challenge more complicated; I will use the same word to create posts on Twitter and Instagram. I will create a haiku for twitter and post a photo on Instagram. If the word I choose is too obscure to make a post, I will choose another word.

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